How do I deal with my tendency of comparing myself to others? I answered this question to someone else the other day online. Thought I’d share it with you.
My personal how-to is likely different than most.
I’m a very competitive person and although being competitive sometimes helps me, there are problems. On the one hand I get discouraged when I do worse than my peers, or when I do worse than my own personal goals. On the other hand even when I do well, I’ve found (and continue to find) that it creates this arrogance in me that although I don’t say it publicly I pretty much think I’m better than others. Despair or pride.
So two things I do:
- Identify the problem as a problem.
- Reflect on where my identity really comes from. For me, my identity does not come from my accomplishments. It doesn’t even come from my family, or my friends, or where I grew up. Sure, these things contribute to be a part of me. But when we tear everything away, I am an accepted, appreciated, and honoured child of God. Because of what Jesus did for me, I believe that in the grade-book of God I have an A+. 100%. Not because of what I did but because of what Jesus did for me. And reflecting on this inevitably causes my stress/emotions/discouragement and also my judgmental attitude to fade. I can’t take credit – Jesus did it so I have no reason to be arrogant. I can’t be sad because what matters most is already settled.
After reflecting on this I make some more personal goals, perhaps chat with a friend about it because that helps too, and I move forward with a better perspective of others because Jesus gave me a better perspective of myself.
This applies in all of life. It is in all honesty exactly what I work through. I probably go through this process, dealing with these types of situations, a handful of times a month. It’s what I do. I’ve tried other methods but when I rely on self I either get arrogant or discouraged. And the one-liners like “it’ll be okay – next time” just don’t satisfy me intellectually or emotionally.
I’d encourage you to try something similar.